It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
