Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.

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  (612): we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/eg8c
  Replies (15) Good night (4805) Bad night (716)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you come get me at the bar

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ill be there in 10 min

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

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  (570): can you come get me at the bar (301): ill be there in 10 min (570): can we stop off at build a bear on the way home http://tfl.nu/der9
  Replies (37) Good night (9818) Bad night (926)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

  (541): View more from Oregon

  dude.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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  (503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc
  Replies (21) Good night (931) Bad night (3926)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.

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  (919): I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life. http://tfl.nu/1v5e
  Replies (33) Good night (1228) Bad night (3288)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.

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  (315): i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear. http://tfl.nu/94id
  Replies (10) Good night (5406) Bad night (1268)
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  (198): View more from

  im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now

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  (198): im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now http://tfl.nu/ubkf
  Replies (36) Good night (4962) Bad night (1245)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly

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  (716): i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly http://tfl.nu/a8cm
  Replies (19) Good night (1535) Bad night (5652)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.

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  (210): Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO. http://tfl.nu/ip2n
  Replies (27) Good night (8607) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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  (315): apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food. http://tfl.nu/ofln
  Replies (3) Good night (3414) Bad night (929)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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  (580): Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it. http://tfl.nu/0iyi
  Replies (18) Good night (3750) Bad night (1035)
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3826) Bad night (1005)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

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  (309): He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned? http://tfl.nu/05n3
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (1831)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.

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  (204): NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees. http://tfl.nu/cysh
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.

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  (412): I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls. http://tfl.nu/kdxo
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO

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  (603): YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO http://tfl.nu/9tng
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (216)

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