Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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  (904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr
  Replies (8) Good night (1696) Bad night (777)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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  (662): New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests? http://tfl.nu/8lkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2545) Bad night (896)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

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  (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? http://tfl.nu/833l
  Replies (60) Good night (490) Bad night (4368)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.

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  (253): I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy. http://tfl.nu/efip
  Replies (12) Good night (904) Bad night (3104)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just did the classiest thing ever.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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  (440): I just did the classiest thing ever. (216): last time you said that you got chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/33ag
  Replies (19) Good night (1463) Bad night (6416)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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  (605): I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done. http://tfl.nu/lxsz
  Replies (23) Good night (1065) Bad night (4575)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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  (703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a
  Replies (4) Good night (2847) Bad night (1803)
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  (883): View more from

  I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet

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  (883): I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet http://tfl.nu/tmsx
  Replies (7) Good night (2997) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"

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  (908): you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind" http://tfl.nu/r0zl
  Replies (4) Good night (2620) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He looks like he'd be great Lego character.

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  (864): He looks like he'd be great Lego character. http://tfl.nu/ysvh
  Replies (8) Good night (1262) Bad night (641)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.

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  (309): new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey. http://tfl.nu/5gwc
  Replies (4) Good night (1886) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays

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  (307): I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays http://tfl.nu/bo0c
  Replies (5) Good night (387) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one

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  (307): There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one http://tfl.nu/1hhb
  Replies (8) Good night (1017) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

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  (562): I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk. http://tfl.nu/qs07
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (153)

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