sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!