Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"