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• (323): View more from California

  Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

  (1-323): View more from California

  We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

  (323): View more from California

  Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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• (315): View more from New York

  yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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• (510): View more from California

  Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.

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