that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
