well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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