i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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