I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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