I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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