so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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