im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
