Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
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You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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