Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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