my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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