Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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