It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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