just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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