Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
