U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You are a genius and a whore.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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