i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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