Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
