I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
