Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
