I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
