Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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