Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
