Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
