Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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