my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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