sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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