eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
