I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize