she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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