I hate your face
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize