He felt like a one man threesome
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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