Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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