Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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