Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
