i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize