Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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