I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
