Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
please don't ironically join a cult
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