I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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