I accidentally burped into my bong.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
