she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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