hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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