Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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