This girl is more easily done than said...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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