I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
