You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
