Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
