Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
