I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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