I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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