No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
