i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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