I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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